24 July 2008

My own personal experience of pregnancy

In January 1994, I suspected I may be pregnant. My menstrual cycle had always been very regular, so when my expected period failed to start after a few days, I knew something major was going on. I decided to purchase a home pregnancy kit to confirm my suspicions. After reading the home kit instructions, I did the test. It instructed to wait 60 seconds before checking test results, I waited 30 seconds, as the suspense was overwhelming. A clear blue line was visible. I was certainly pregnant.

The thought of being pregnant sent my head spinning. I had a joyous rosy image of myself, being the proud mum of a beautiful bouncing baby, looking very happy without a care in the world. Then it suddenly dawned on me, I was pregnant, I was disabled with Cerebral Palsy, I couldn’t walk, I can be unsteady, I was in a wheelchair. Before finding out I was pregnant, I had always managed to do most things in my own way, despite my disability. Nothing bothered me, I just carried out tasks without thinking. But, a tiny Baby! Reliant on me to provide it’s every need. This was most certainly unknown territory to me,where my disability was concerned. My mind kept on going from immense elation to a feeling of despair, and visa versa.

I had disabled friends who had children, but their disability was different to mine. Even those I knew with CP, the level of how their CP affected them was not the same as mine. At the back of mind I imagined myself handling a baby pretty well, in a manner that suited me in my own home. But, at the forefront of my mind was a daunting road ahead. I had to get through the next nine months of pregnancy first.

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