01 August 2008

Open to Learn

Ever since I can remember, no matter how difficult the challenge of learning was for me, I went the distance. Despite my Cerebral Palsy and Dyslexia, and despite being able to write my girlfriends last name instead of my own in first grade, I stayed the course. I remember not being able to sleep at night. I remember worrying my little head off, and thinking and staying up all hours of the night tossing and turning. I remember my mother buying me a pink, Zenith, clock radio so that it would help lull me to sleep! Do you think it helped?

Sometimes! But most nights, I wound up turning the dial for another hour or two of classical music instead of falling fast asleep by 7:40p.m. I was up until 10 or 11 at night. I can remember rolling over in bed to and fro, in constant movement and anguish. My mind was never quiet or still. It was always in deep, deep thought. Many a nights I can remember tossing from side to side thinking...How am I ever going to remember this stuff! How am I ever going to remember these words for my spelling test tomorrow...But some how I did. Somehow, I got through maybe it was mind over matter. Maybe I did not realize the power of my word!

And for sure, I did not realize how deeply rooted and seeded my will to succeed was! really never realize the power of my thought. The power of my intension's. Nor, did I realize how determined I really was!  All I knew was that some how I was going to make it-  Some how I knew I HAD TO MAKE IT!

Some how, some way, I found myself trying to overcome and compensate for the barriers I faced. I tried to recognize and counter act what was happening to me. I tried to retain, and I tried to make up and neutralize the blocks and barriers I had. All I wanted was to be able to learn like the other children I went to school with; who pick up the material they were learning with ease. I did not want to be made fun of, nor did I want my school work ripped up by bullies.

My learning never came with that ease for me. It was always hard, difficult, and relentless!. It didn't feel like I was, learning a thing but I guess I did. I was always open to a new way of learning and new ways to listen or finding new technique's or method's that would help allow me to learn like others.

I was open to listening, to find a better way, and I was open toward a solution to this learning problem I had. I was open to someone who could really help me. I guess because of my open mind, and receptive attitude, it came to pass. And I am so very grateful I did. Because I think...Where would I be today if I was not!

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