04 September 2008


Life is scary sometimes, and in times like this I choose to be as honest as possible. In times like these I get so annoyed with being a "Christian" because of all the cliche statements and set responses people tend to give off.

I’ve often ask myself: what does it mean to be a human? An the answer is being able to admit when fear is tapping at my chamber door. The cliche no longer works for me, the pretty spiritual life no longer works for me either.

Life is hard. Its dirty and ugly sometimes. Whens the last time you have ever watched people walking out of a local store? I mean have you seen the looks on peoples faces? Its as though life is stringing them up by the neck and hanging them, just based off of a facial expression.

Sure, one could be in deep reflection. But what about the ones who even when they try to understand the pain of life, often feel let down and confused and left with more questions?

What about the ones who just can’t seem to sleep at night because they’re afraid of being alone? You know what I call this my friends? Life. Its life at its rawest form for some.

People living from pay check to pay check, people with that lingering fear that life as they know will forever be the way it is. In other words despair is all they know. The fear is so controlling that we as humans know no better then to let the fear consume and direct our lives.

I have found that when I am scared the most, the only thing I can do is jump. Not so much literally (Because I simply cannot) but more so in metaphor. I have to jump into the Un- known and risk failure. I have to jump into my deepest darkest fears.

And this is scary. Because when life is at its darkest point in your life. You have a choice to jump back into the see of despair. Or we can jump forward into the sea of the Un Known where you knows what we might find.

Perhaps you’ll find that maybe all the despair has lead you to point in where you truly know just how much you can take. Or maybe you find the strength to explore the pain and where in stems from, maybe what we jump into is freedom and we just do not know it.

To me there is the kind of fear where you are getting ready to take that first step, and then there is the fear where you can’t and don’t want to move forward and jump and dig because you, are actually comfortable where you are... And that should scare the living crap out of you!

Because when we reach that point, it takes a group of people to pull you out of where your at. And often you don’t even want to be pulled out, but because someone else has eyes to see the good, beautiful potential in you, they pull you out wether or not you want it or not.

I have to jump. When I can’t feel that sweet shalom of yahweh I jump. When everything in life sucks and I don’t want to go on anymore. I jump. On a end note, people often don’t jump simply because they cannot see anything more than the pain.

That God and bible are just a way to cover up the pain. But I beg you to start leaping a jumping with me, beyond the cliche and beyond what we already know. Jump. Jump with me. Lets discover life and beauty and hope and faith together.


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