24 January 2009

what do you do when......

when you feel tired and all alone ,looking in instead of out as if in a fish bowl,I feel trapped.I get tired real tired ,numb and I just retreat to a quiet place inside my head where the sound don't penetrate.Too many things going on all at once .My bones ache and every move I hear a bone shift near my hips A tightness as if I need to crack my hips and lower spine.I have been feeling like this for about 7 months.

No medical insurance and my SDI is almost to an end .I have never been in circumtance like this!I have always worked and mostly that work was very labor intensive. My specialist say 2 discs at 6.8 are not bad but with your Cerebral Palsy ,one conflicts the other ? Your muscle rare too tight and don't stretch but to much exercise can make things worse. So I just do what I can to be active .The Big Problem is I hate not being able to do things that used to do ,I am so fear of moving, bending the wrong way and ending up re-injuring my back.

Do not go to a chiropractic who doesn't specialize in Cerebral Palsy or similar Neromuscular problems!My regular Dr. was very good but his referral was unfamiliar with spinal twists and areas that should be left alone.

Now I have no job due to the double talk no insurance and am now live below poverty !Yet I believe when you are down to the bottom the only direction is up and all the other stuff that used to be taken care of :credit card s and extra nice things get put on hold.what Is the most troubling to me is the red tape one must go through too get some help that is not just a band aid! But I guess since have never needed or had to rely on gov. aid even being born a foster child and disabled at; 49 I'm due for some.

If anyone reads this And can help me with grants for music and housing or a advocate please E Me: don@donhaleymusic.com or donaldhaley1@gmail.com I need some real help. I'm really getting depressed and hate being Unable to pull my self out like to. Now I asking


  1. Hello Donald,

    Firstly can I wish you a happy new year, I can fully understand where you are coming from when you say that you wish you could do things that you used to do, its one of those things that I get asked a lot "is my cp getting worse as I get older? " and I dont really know whether its the fact that as we get older things generally might become harder whether your disabled or abled bodies, or whether it is that the cp is getting worse.

    In terms of your back problems you mention the twists, do you have scoliosis (this is what is known as curvature of the spine)

    Keep intouch here because I know there are some great people in this blog of life who you will get support from


  2. thankyou susie I just bought a car a standard it was all i can affoerd ,thankyou for your interest It is hard to get people to take you seriously when you don't look like theres anything different .My father told me always do your best and keep pushing yourself to fit in to society and do what ever job you can get.I have achieved and done very physically demanding work I guess My body is telling me something! he he I hope your doing well ,where r you from?

  3. Hi Donald,

    I am glad you came back, you and your father have the right attitude in life, in that always do your best and thats all you can do is your best, because that way you know you have tried and give it a go, then that way you are not spending your life thing I wish I had tired that, you can satisfy yourself in thinking you know what I am glad I tried that.

    In all the things you have done in your life so far you can be assured in that you know what I tried my best and achieved all I could and what more can you ask of someone.

    It is quite strange when you say you always push yourself, because I was talking to a colleague at work recently about work loads and how that I will always go that extra mile to get a job done. It crossed my mind that if I didn't have a disablity would I still go that extra mile, and in all honesty I am not sure that I would but because I have a disability I am constantly wanting to prove to the world that I have the ability!!! and I can do it.

    I know exactly what you mean, when you say that you body is telling you something, it is something that I get asked a lot whether it is the cerebral palsy or other condition getting worse as I get older that makes it harder, or whether its just because things can be generally harder as ou get older? what do you think ?

    I live in the UK in the North East of England

    Look forward to hearing from you

  4. Hi Donald,

    It is said that what you think about most you attract. What are you thinking about the most? If it's fear, then quite likely you are attracting more of what you don't want -- more fear. May I make a suggestion that, admittedly, sounds so simplistic? Whenever you start thinking about the things you are afraid of, whenever you start "feeling" the fear, start thinking of the things you'd like to have or the things you love. Shower those images with a white light, and feel a lightness in your heart area. Feel the difference? If you want to know more about how your thoughts affect your life, please go to your library and check out The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. It has helped many people tremendously.

    Good luck!

    Jan Tincher

  5. Hello Jan,

    after reading your comment and good advice, it kind of brought back memories of a similar sort of thing that I used to do while I was at college and still do to some extent today and that is as follows:

    I have 3 sheets of paper labelled
    1) What i can do
    2)what I cant do
    3) Things I am working on

    The first sheet I list all the things I can do, then the second is all the things I cant, and the last one is one for things I can do to help move the things on the cant list to the I can list.

    What I do is lok at the things that I can work on and set myself small achieveable goals with the aim of chaning the I cant to I can, and I always set them at a level I know I can hit and it doesnt matter how long it takes to do it because in the long term I know I will get there.

    I suupose the key to what I am saying is that always aim high, but not that high that it becomes in possible, because you will see it as hard work and become dis heartened that then you wont want to carry on. Where as if its small steps its easier to move up the ladder of success

    What do you think ?

  6. thankyou susie, I been to Lodon once facinating.History was my passion in school england has lots ....I thankyou for your fellowship .A comment about fear... fear may be physical or emotional experience that one cannot predict or control.Being a person who is unfamliar with inability to become powerless in an event changing situation is trumatic even to a person who has lived with Cerebral Palsy.I understand Jan s comment fully, yet thinking positvely is an excellent choice. I like the pro active approach and Law of attraction does hold true you are what you think.Yet I can tell you as you well know put an abled bodied person in an unfamiliar wheelchair ...,whats that reality show 30 days ?I wasn't shocked the persons reaction to being in a wheelchair he said the disabled got guts and he can't imagine living like that perminantly! he has a new respect for the disabled.My point is we all have fear ,it is how we survive, use our heads minimize risk.If we only put positive thoughts in our heads then if something negative happens what do you think oh this is not positve and it doesn't exsist? nieve! however if you take the fear and imbrace it under it and accept it then you can slowly vanqish it effect on you. I wanted this to beadressed to Jans comment which I appreciate greatly .I am not negative in my approach just frusrated because it's new and takes getting used to taking caution in things I never thought twice about doing. whenI fall or stuble ,I actually laugh because I'm so used to it.!lol To you both thn u for your positive thoughts