10 March 2010

Focusing on Forging Ahead

My dear readers. I know it may seem as thought a lifetime has gone by since I have last written, but you’d be pleased to know that I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. As I type these words, I sit with an arm bandage on my right hand so that I can write these words to you. I injured it by doing my daily routine and have been quietly sitting still while healing. Yet, the thoughts of what I was going to write next, continued. Having an injury did not hampered my ability to pick up my writing where I left off. Now that I am a bit better, and can use my fingers without unbearable pain, there is a great deal I wish to say.
My thoughts and desires are not to bring you the ordinary and the mundane. My strong wish is to bring you thought provoking articles to make you think twice about. My entries may not be every week, but the depth and thought I put into each article I hope will touch something off inside of you. I bring you these articles with a passion and a commitment to enlighten the world you live in, and, the thoughts you may feel. I bring you these article’s in the fashion I do; to stir your thoughts, and to challenge the ordinary within you. My purpose is to arouse and awaken the sleeping part which holds you back from treating people like me, with little dignity and true respect. This journey of mine will not cease! I will continue to jar and pry open the many controversial thoughts which our society still denies, and tries to deem unworthy of listing to. I will carry the torch until I see proof of our world treating us with the same dignity and respect the able population gets treated with. My writing may be few and far between, but, my words will speak volumes, and be worth listening to. It will change your thinking beyond any whelm.
I’d like to share my perspective in a very safe, caring, healing kind of way. I’d like to tell you all about my thoughts and feelings as a people with physical challenges. I have kept my minds eye open towards finding the article and words that would reflect all of my thoughts and feelings and experiences. I have been on a sabbatical recently, while working in many other areas of my life.

Perhaps the most interesting of all, is the fact that I have been editing my memoir for the last 6 months, and, working with an agent and many other people to enlighten, open minds, and give true account of what Cerebral Palsy is all about. Day in, and day out, I think of not only writing article’s that will mean something to others reading my blog, but also to bring a new perspective of looking and dealing with many given daily situations so to be treated as an equal person, in a world where people push our talents and desires off with a simple role of an eye, a condescending pat on the arm, and a comment that gives little credence to what we are truly capable of achieving, and what we do to earn an honest living and make our achievements possible.

This is never more true than in my own efforts to teach not only adaptive aerobics, Pilates, and yoga, but in crossing over to our “normal” population. Time in again, in well over forty some odd years, I rapidly find that no one believes that I, a person with left side hemiplegic, Cerebral Palsy, could be efficient at teaching dance as I do. I have proven this fact more times than I care to count. However, this fact takes people out of their comfort zone. This fact destroys fifty years of telethon brainwashing. And, this fact, does not help people like you and me get ahead financially, mentally, or emotionally.

This fact, keeps us right where they want us. They don’t have to say anything, or do anything, except continue to lie to our faces, with all the so called rules and laws properly in place. Thankfully, not everyone feels this way. Still, the comments and undercurrents continue. We are told “Oh you teach…!” yet, they won’t hire me as their teacher or consultant. They don’t give me a chance to do what it is that I am well rounded and experienced in doing. Thus, the insecurity comes in, because no one truly believes in my ability. Therefore, I am ALWAYS trying to prove myself a trillion times over. If only I was given the same chance- If only people could look at me in the same way they look at there peers- If only they could see beyond their eyes-

Sometimes an initial acceptance turns into nothing but pike dreams. It is so much easier for people to talk about equality, than actuality practice it. A comfortable phrase replaces action. People wish us luck instead of doing anything. People ask about our daily living skills instead of what’s in our hearts and minds. Also, they treat us as though we don’t know any better. This has happened time and time again in my life. And I have to keep forging forward to prove myself and focus ahead to do more.
Thankfully, I have been able to hold true to my true self. I alone neVER turned my back on myself. I forged forward. I put belittling aside. Took hold of the reigns’, and galloped triumphantly. I’ve done the impossible. I have moved forward in ways people in the “normal” world told me I’d NEvER be able to achieve or accomplish. In the coming months ahead, I will be traveling not only to Utah, but I am planning a 15 day excursion to Canada and New England. I will be traveling the seas and seeing the vistas of our country side. And, if everything works out, I will be taking a trip of a life time with three dear, precious friends to Africa.
With all of this, one would think I wouldn’t have to focus so hard on the simple things we call life!

Karen Lynn

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