12 April 2009

Its been a while

I finally feel like I have words to share with you all. I’ve been wanting to update for a while now, but I’ve felt a bit “Stuck” if you will. Like when your car is stuck some where, and no matter how hard you try to force your car out of the mud or snow. It just keeps getting harder and harder. And sometimes a helping hand is in need.

For the past year and some odd months, there has been words forming in me. Almost like chapters and ideas, examples of things that need to be scribbled down. I have been holding off from writing anything, as far as manuscript worthy because I simply refuse to write something similar to something I’ve already written in the past.
And now it seems I’ve stumbled upon something new, (new to me) thought provoking, fusterating, confusing and something even that can make me very uncomfortable. I find myself at a very weird place in life, in all aspects. For the sake of honesty, I want to say that maybe, I have lost sight of who God is to me.

I’ve lost it. Or him. In the ramblings of pastors, christians, other perspectives and voices in the world. No I am not renouncing Jesus or the Bible, so please don’t wet your pants right away. We don’t need you to do that right now!

You know, we humans are so very small in this world, I think we forget how small we are. Christians believe in something called ”The Body of Christ”, which is another word for community, but how is this? Have we ever opened our eyes and seen how divided we are, amongst ourselves?

I mean honestly. In one corner we have Christians shouting: “God hates you!”
And in the other: “Peace bro, hang ten man, its all about love!” (That was my surfs up impression, great movie!)

And in another: “We are fifty times more right then you, and you shall burn in hell for your sins!” (Like that helps!?)

Oh, and one other, those people with their bull horns.. you probably need to find another way… seriously.

And there’s me. I feel like I’m in the cross fire of it all. I was telling someone the other day, the image/vision that pops into my head when I experience this. Its like myself and Jesus (The Jewish Rabbi, not rock star) are looking at each other face to face, and these crowds of Christians are shouting their agendas at me, and I’m not even sure what the truth is anymore. But I know in my heart, that I simply adore this Rabbi and teacher. And would gladly follow him. If only this chaos would stop.

So yes, what is forming inside is indeed a second book. And it will be the best thing I have ever written.
I love you all. Go in peace.

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