One Handed Wonder

Most of my articles, for the past two years, have focused in on emotions and feelings, advocacy, and, the daily struggle of living with Cerebral Palsy. My articles also have focused in on trying to maneuver amongst society, while maintaining self direction, and dignity.

For this month, I would like to focus in on a lighter issue. I would like to focus in on daily living skills. I would also like to focus in on left or right sided paralyses. From a very early age of 18 months old, I can remember my dear, sweet, Mama Katie teaching me to contribute to the house hold, even though I had the use of only one side of my body. I can vividly recall my mama calling out to me and asking me to help her clean. She would come into the living room, hand me a dust rag, and ask me in this wonderfully, sweet, New York accent to help Mama dust the legs on the coffee table. I was only 18 months old, and at that very, young, impressionable age, I can remember smiling and wanting to help. I can remember feeling good about doing what she asked of me, and, about myself.

Most people would not have believed that a child with a disability could do such a thing. But I did. Some how, deep in my mother’s progressive gut, she really, truly, understood something that the experts did not. Now a days, their is a lot of talk about progressive technology and voice activated equipment. However, you don’t hear much about anyone talking about left or right hemiplegia people, learning how to use there good side of their body’s to accomplish every day living tasks.

My mother some how instinctively knew that it would benefit the both of us if I could lead a normal life. This was unheard of during the time I grew up. Parents were taught that there was not much hope for their child, such as I. The fact that I learned these things at such a young age, that it was gentle, and non-treating, made me willing to help and learn. These skills would come in good use when I got a bit older. No one knew in my family what was yet to come. But the handy, useful, hands on approach, and teaching techniques of daily living skills, came in good use when my mother became a single parent, and at fourteen years old, I ran the house hold, while my mother worked and ran our business.

It felt good to know that my mother could lean on me. It felt even better to know that she did not have to worry about me or the house. I would get off the school bus, at about 4 O’ clock in the afternoon. I would put my books away, get my jeans and tee shirt on, and start in with the laundry. Oh how good it felt to know that I was helping my Mama. It felt nice to know that Mama could come home to a clean, spotless home with dinner waiting for her on the table.
It felt so good to know in my heart that I could be independent.

That I could be trusted. And it built my self- confidence and self-worth. I felt useful. I felt like I was doing something constitutive, special, and, felt like I was conquering things in my life like everybody else without a disability. Sometimes I think about all those many years ago, when my mother and I took on all the negative ideas about what a young girl with C.P. could and could not do. I hope the image of that girl will bring encouragement to you when you face something that seems hard. It might help you to remember that this was something that my mother and I decided to take on. This was something I did to help me become who I am, and what I have became today. Thankfully, this was not a goal that experts wrote down in an IEP report to gather dust in an archive.

Stand For Something

Stand for something or you will fall for anything!
By Deborah Pipas

This statement was made by Alexander Hamilton, of course he was talking about something entirely different than disability. So often we forget that we need a purpose in our lives. It is up to each of us to choose our own convictions and the things that we will stand for on our journey.

In the past few years my life has been deeply touched and changed by the disability of a loved one. Often in the past I found myself taking the “whatever” attitude. In other words do what ever you wish just don’t bother me with the details. After much thought, I have realized that it is a very poor attitude indeed! Attitude can cause unhappiness in our lives and usually we are the ones making that choice. It takes real commitment to stand for the things we believe in no matter what others think about our ideas and convictions. Advocacy for the disabled and their families, and assisting others in seeking education and resources to become their own self advocate are immensely important in my plan for the future.

There are a many disabled folks who literally cannot stand for themselves but they are still figuratively able to stand for the things in which they believe. Most of us are able to stand for our rights as human beings and we do have the power to make others know that just because an individual is disabled, does not mean that person is incapable of entertaining thoughts and feelings concerning all sorts of issues that truly belong to them. For those that don’t have that ability it has become a life choice for me to stand in their place.

As we become more aware of all the different types of disabilities in our society, we begin to see those that are disabled from birth, others that are disabled by accidents, a vast number of people that are mentally disabled and far too many other disabilities to list here. We all have a disability in one way or another, for some of us we may experience poor vision or mild hearing loss which is so minor it doesn’t even qualify for a real disability but, it is just the same. Others go through life burdened down by emotional issues that limit their quality of life.

Hurting people are everywhere throughout our world. Some isolate themselves by choice, others don’t know how to make friends or they have been so badly hurt or abused that they don’t trust anyone. People separate themselves from others just to avoid rejection, daily we see those who put on their best face and march out to do their jobs, personal errands or whatever they must do just to return home and close the world outside. This is another just form of disability.

Are you trying to close out the world? Maybe reading this will help you to realize that emotionally that is just what you are doing. Could it be that out of fear or mistrust of others you are not extending a helping hand to anyone? How can we expect anyone to extend a helping hand to us when we keep the emotional doors closed and locked? Do we avoid helping others because we fear the outcome?

Each of us must endeavor to locate the resources that apply to our personal needs. This is not always an easy task especially when we insist on doing it alone. It is up to each of us as an individual to educate ourselves and to do the research to find answers to our own needs. However, if we allow others to be a part of our world we can overcome the loneliness that we bring upon ourselves through our own emotional disability.

We must stand for something! What are you going to stand for? Will you reach out to others and endeavor to make a difference, or will you close the door and hide inside yourself because you are afraid that you will be hurt emotionally? There is truly power in numbers so if we stand unified we can accomplish much more than we can ever imagine.

Believe in your dream, search for your dream, help someone else accomplish their dream and your dream will become a reality.

Advocacy Development

Since I began to deal with the obstacles inherent in having a disability, I have taken many paths in advocating for myself and those I care about. One of the most rewarding directions I’ve taken was when I served as a fitness instructor for people with and without disabilities. People didn’t realize how much their bodies were capable of accomplishing. So, in each and every class I taught, I empowered them with my "I can do" attitude. I tried to make each class very enjoyable and carefree. In retaliation, my students in the adaptive aerobics class would take the time to playfully batter with me, as I counted out the number of repetitive repetitions to the rhythm of the music. They found amusement and light-heartiness in trying to pull one over on me.

In my private work, I have been a part of helping many clients grow and develop not only their physical abilities with their specific limitations, but , I have witnessed their self-confidence and awareness soar. Despite my so called barriers, I have found a way to rise above and conquer.